what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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