"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
She is in my trunk
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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