Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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