No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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