yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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