Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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