yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I supernannyed him into submission
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