Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
