8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
