im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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