Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
