What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
