its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
