My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Sober January is a disaster.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
