Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
