i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
