HIV tests are more positive than that guy
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize