I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
