Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
