ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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