i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
