I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
As shirtless as possible
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Randomize