I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize