R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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