brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
