Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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