what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
