Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
