You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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