Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
