I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
