Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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