kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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