wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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