I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
