Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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