Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
