I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he puts the penis in happiness.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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