I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
