I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
