im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
