I molested 6 butterflies tonight
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize