they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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