I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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