Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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