Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
