please come you make the beer taste better
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
