He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
