Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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