we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
