Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
