Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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