I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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