The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize
