literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
