sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
