the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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