All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I think I just sharted jello shots
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